Tag: #lifestyle

He is a good Husband But not a good lover.

Today my husband and I had a heated discussion. It was going with some times or I can say it is going on, and I want to stop at some place. Every time we had this last statement I felt that I was thinking wrong.

This time I sat and tried to understand if I was the person who was wrong here. He is a good father, he is a good man, and never raised his voice on me until we had heated one. He is a provider for the family, House, Food, and Education for his kid. What else is needed from him? I have expectations from him, those expectations girls have from lovers?

Lover the person in your life is like a cloud that is too good to rain only on you not anywhere else. where the husband is the person who rained everywhere, for him, his parents, his friends, and his office, in short word wife is part of his life and for the Lover, the girlfriend is his life.

So yes I am expecting things from the wrong person or he is the right person my explanations are wrong, he is doing his best and I am the person who is causing the issues.

When I realized I said sorry and stupidly I said that you are a good Husband but not a good lover and that hit the wrong spot, for him he is best in all ways, and it took me some time to make him realize what I am trying to say, I am not sure what he understands but at the end, he is like ok let’s go with that way. And I am yeah let’s see we can skip some heated ones.

PS: I have arranged marriage, I shared all my concerns but it seems he did not understand at that time what I was looking for , we got 7 days to decide and as per his answers I assumed he was on board but now I changed the side of the table let’s see.

My second inning!

It’s been a long time since I wrote anything. Before marriage, I was in the IT industry and now my son is big enough so thought to try the second inning. Covid gave me that opportunity, I got a work-from-home job and can look after my family as well. I was so much into it. In the beginning days, I loved everything even the stress. I was enjoying everything.

The era when I went to the office was different, we used to go to the office and have lunch, and coffee together. at that time the late night team used to be in the office to resolve the issues. yeah, we were frustrated but laughing, and discussing together. We used so many names and phrases but there was respect and a feeling of trust for each other.

One time remember when it was so late and my Team leader dropped me home. Of course, when I asked for leave he rejected me many times ;). My seniors when they mentor me are rude and mean but we have each other’s back. ( Yes but at the time of year review or promotion we are different people).

In the second inning first, it was a WFH job and I loved it but gradually I found things odd. Nowadays colleagues do not know how to talk, OK I get that we talk about work only but even in that manner or say office ethics must be there. One time I was in the call and I heard abusive words and I felt so uncomfortable. I want to report to HR but my husband suggests it’s a new job and things change You need to focus on work only. Anyhow I let it go.

As per my new job and after a long break I struggled, yes not a little, but a huge one, I admire myself, because I was afraid about it. But I did it(YouTube and Google are the best helpers) There was a girl whom I replaced, and she handled all her tasks and people details whom I could contact if something went wrong or needed help(No KT provided). My manager said you will do as she said or shared and I said OK, I can. So one day I got stuck and From the contact list I picked one number and asked for help, The first question I encountered was Who are you, so I explained then the other party raised a second question about why they were not informed that I am replacing previous one and what about the outstanding with the previous one. Yeah, a legit question even though I raised the same that I should formally introduce it to the clients or teammates, never happened, now manager came to me and said How dare I go behind her back, I don’t understand When I did this. I simply reached out to a person and that person did not know me before that I was told I could contact anyone from the contact list so where the hell I am wrong, Ok she feels I am wrong and As per job pressure I am trying to understand But she started the language which I never had in my life, and on the top of that my lead said she must have a bad day, Ok you had a bad day so you use those words?

Now I have my sense that industry changed, now it’s not the second family its a profit-making place, you are in the job get the money and do what is asked, and once you are done Bye Bye…

No respect even not as being human, no data sharing, blame game, the best thing about this industry which I like they used to have language whether they wanted harsh words but in proper language now it’s street one. A person is on the couch watching Netflix and having a conference call. How he/she can feel that environment where you look into the eye face to face say your concern with confidence and then shake hands with no hard feelings and after that have a cup of coffee.

Those unknown people where they are gone, who smiled at you when you entered the office. In the cafeteria, you sit with another team person and share a laugh with lunch, and in the conference room blaming each other. I called that office ethics But with WFH and with this unknown wind they all are gone.

Who will teach those manners, who will teach that on Teams hmm is not an appropriate word, on call using the F, A, M words are not allowed? Now Business language is out of the zone, at least use respectful language.

Thanks for reading it, if you do not agree with me that’s fine I have my concerns you have yours. I shared it here and feel relief you find your way to let it out.