Why don’t he miss her ?

M and W were so much in love, everything is perfect between them, they have the same hobbies, same test. They are soul mates.

Both are working, they start their day with exercise, coffee and then go to the office, they come back home, watch tv or a little gossip and bed. They have a cute dog who is all alone in day time but with M and W his night is good. They have a sweet little family.

M and W had little arguments like W wants M help for cooking, and M suggests appointing a cook. M wants family involvement for that W agrees but on her terms, with W terms M is not agreed. In short as a married couple they have differences but they are in love.After some time they get pregnant, for that W moves to her family. During that time for the first time M and W are apart, but M traveled to W, when M traveled to W he also visited his parents house.

W has no problem with this visit, as M and W’s parents are fully involved in their relationship.But there is little twist, M and W both have expectations with each other, at the same time they are liking No responsibility zone. They are still talking on the phone but slowly they are feeling disconnected. After some time they were blessed with a baby and W got busy at work, baby and she expected help from M. M suggests the same thing appoint cook, have day care or quit the job. For that W was not ready, here M started complaining about her to his mother and the same W is sharing her being to her mother, both mothers are taking sides or their children so instead of husband and wife it became family drama.

W left M place with the baby and started her life at her mother’s place. She is trying that M apologizes and takes them home but M decides to divorce her. W is not saying sorry she is asking to get it back together and take care of the baby as parents. But M is saying you are no good for me.

W is now single mother and take ok ng care of her baby, M wants to talk his baby on phone and if he got custody then his mother will take care of baby.M started hiking, parting, new friends circle, traveling on holidays, new hobbies and when he need to talk, share his feeling or daily conversation he calls his mother and have long conversation. In short M is enjoying bachelor life and he is not missing his soul mate, Why ?

With this As I understand when you become parents, mother fathers both need to sacrifice, it’s not only mother so M’s expectation is wrong. Next is if you have issues don’t involve your third that makes things worse.

W should be ready for something like a cook, no harm in that, the same M should talk to W only yes family friends all are important but no one is replaced with a life partner. Here M replaced W with his mother, he started sharing his emotions, daily thoughts and even private things with his mother. So how can he miss W, he cooks in the morning then the office after that call to mother to share all day things then tv and good night. It’s all finished when he will miss her? (Instead of a mother you can add any third person )

You miss your life partner when you want to share your moments, your emotions, when you need a shoulder to cry to sleep, but all those things if you share with a third then I don’t think you will miss your life partner.

Nowadays divorce is very common, yes in marriage there are differences. Sometimes the husband is not happy with the wife and wife with the husband, but you can deal with each other, if those differences are small like M and W. If I try to see the bigger picture then M is busy in his life and replaces W with a third, W is busy in her life and she replaces M with baby, how and when they will miss each other.

Maybe you have a different perspective, I feel that way and I share it with you, if you have other thoughts share them with me.

I Lost MySelf !

I lost myself.. It’s big. And it happens to everyone once in their life. It takes time to gather ourselves and then come back to the place to start life, but some parts are missed, and we always feel.

There are different reasons some have a relationship that breaks them into the deep, loss in business even nowadays failing the exam is also there, but you cannot say that this could not be the reason because if it matters to the person then it matters.

Recently I went through that or can say I got a chance to go to that sea, I was deep and very deep and felt dark that no matter how much I want to survive but every single time I feel going down. Yes, I talked about that and shared my feelings but it helps, not in my case, the moment I am alone I am again in the same place.

That place is all about self criticized, winning, and crying or it’s the ocean of tears, which is getting me down and down day by day. During the criticized things I feel how unimportant I am, yes I have everything but for them I have nothing, they do love me but with reason, if I am not fulfilling their expectations then they just ignore me or aside me.

Is this a Love, relationship? Then I realize people pray to God, in my culture we have billions of gods, and for each thing, there is a different one, so do they love God, No either they are scared or need, then only they pray to him. No one I ever recall says that just love God, without your wanting or something. No one says that God never got angry if you do something bad, God is the only person who accepts you the way you are, I don’t think it mattered to him that did I eat something mistakenly during my fasting days, but I think it does matters to him if I break the heart.

I am in a place where things matter and for me, feelings matter. And when I shared how I heart definitely with the hope that it resolves so they feel I am complaining. Which heart more. So with those things, I thought I lost myself. Who I am and is this me or the world?

It was terrible, I got nobody, I thought about help yes but in my place, doctors are coming from the same zone, they prescribe medicine but I want to be heard only that, listen to me and suggest how to overcome not how wrong I am and I should accept people around me, not at the first place. But did not happen.

At that time Mirror became my friend, strange. I did not notice but I feel someone is there inside who wanted me to go out from this deep dark ocean, don’t know how but started talking to the mirror, the more I talk the more I feel better.

With that mirror I realize what is wrong, the only wrong thing is I am putting the world first and myself second. No matter how much I love everyone but it must be me, as the priority. If I want to expect it, it must be from me.

What I am trying to do, I find myself. It was taking too much time. If the thing is lost and can’t restore, if tried then you will get the piece only

It was not me, who can say it happened. but instead of finding myself, I rebuilt myself, this time the way I want. It is easy. Yeah take time but I am happy that with this 2.0 version of me I fix all the bugs which were causing me issues.no idea of how this will work, for now, I am happy, still around with the same people, and the same situations but this 2.0 are good for me.

So instead of finding Rebuild yourself.

Fun in the life #14

First joke by my smarty pants 🤣

My son: Amma tell me the vehicle name for which we don’t use hand only wheels…

Me: 🤔🤔 I thought about automatic one but then I look into him and say no idea you help.

My son: Skates 🤣🤣 ( while doing skating he asked me that)

I feel so happy to see his face when he feels that he got me with me this

If something happens with you, do share. Keep enjoying life😊😊

Bird in the nest !

I live in the apartment no trees around. Nowadays, it’s hard to see birds in the nest and impossible for my kid to see any bird in the nest. For him, birds fly or live in cages 😦 . Luckily on my balcony, a bird makes the nest. My husband said, “We must stop the bird. Otherwise there will be eggs, and if eggs fall then, that hearts me” he is right. Still, I promise him to take care of the bird and my son, so birdy and my monkey don’t disturb each other. Since the bird making her nest, each day is different for me. The more I am with her, the more I feel connected. It amazes me the complete process of Motherhood, whether it’s a bird or human. It’s God’s gift 🙂 . I thought, let’s give words to that feeling.

My balcony is full of plants maybe that attract the bird. She keeps coming and sitting for hours. After three-four days, I notice that she is making a nest. What a fine architect she is. She gave proper support to the nest as it is only on one thin base and tightly tied with the iron bars and makes it safe as much as possible. In 6 to 7 days, she completes it. When I see her making the nest, getting all the soft stuff for would-be babies, I remember those days How I was preparing my baby’s nursery.

The nest is all ready, and she did not move at all. I realized that she laid eggs. She flies away for some time then comes back, she won’t go too far, whenever I reach my balcony she comes back from nowhere. I can understand her, she is going to be a mother, and for now, her only job is to take care of herself and her babies. Sometimes I see another bird with her, and that one comes only to give her food. My son called that bird a dady bird, who flies away because he goes office. During my pregnancy, my husband used to do the same thing before leaving for the office, he arranged all of my stuff in an easy-access way. He never forgets about my craving stuff and baby carrot. Human or animal, End of the day, we are parents.

Eggs are hatching, and a tiny winy cute birdy is out. That’s the most beautiful moment. My kid is so happy, all day he is shouting. Every single time when the bird is out for food, he climbs up and starts looking at the babies. Now we have names Mumma bird, a baby bird, and a dada bird. Now Mumma bird comes with food, and babies open their mouths in the air for the food. Nobody teaches them what to do, but they know, just like the first time I feed my baby, and he knows what to do. At my time, I had this question, how my newborn knows to have milk, and my doctor says, don’t worry about that. After a half-hour of delivery, I nursed my baby, and that was the most satisfying feeling. I get it there are things which we don’t need to teach.

Now my morning starts with them. They chirping early in the morning. It’s so calming, peaceful, wake up like that. I am not an early riser, but now birdies are my alarm, and without snooze, I wake up and have tea with them. Baby birds are growing too fast, and now they are big and have no space for Mumma. When the Mumma bird is not in the nest, babies try to jump. That scares me, so I can imagine how scary for the Mumma bird. I observe one thing whenever Mumma bird is out for food, she keeps chirping so the baby bird can hear her, it’s my assumption, but with that sound, at least the babies don’t try to jump. When I see the naughty baby birds, that give me a sense The moment kids start feeling independence, they start their things, and being a parent our job is to keep saying No word. So I think Mumma bird is doing the same when she is not in the nest but keeps making a sound from far away 😛.

Birds are ready to fly, and soon they will be in the sky and leave their empty nest behind with their sweet memories. I am gone miss them. I can feel what the Mumma bird will feel. I correlate myself with her, a baby born, you raised him with all your love and care, one day he flies away that’s what you teach him, but in your deep heart you want to stop that, you want to hold the moment, you wish that your love one grows slow but it never going to happen they grows fast and now ready to fly. It’s a happy moment that your loved one is now in the world on their own you taught him well, A proud Parent, and sad because now they are not with you. I have no words to explain that feeling. I can only feel it. The day you become a parent, you assuredly feel it. With this feeling, I want to enjoy every single moment with my son.

Thanks to God, he gave us such a beautiful life and such beautiful emotion. When you feel it, you realize how pure the parents and kid relation is. It’s a responsibility, and God blessed us with that. Newborn to a flying bird, every moment is precious. When your little one reaches the sky, that’s the moment you feel proud and say, We did well.