Her place in your life ?

I am from India, here the value of women in your life is based on different aspects, I agree that some people do not agree with me, but first hear me out then decide or share your thoughts. Don’t worry I am not criticizing men or anyone, It’s my observation which I am sharing 😉

I have experience of both the boat, working and house wife, even at one moment I was enjoying both rides together 😊. When I was working the people around me, not my colleague, my family members, my parents,my in-laws they listened to my thoughts, they came and asked for opinions,but things changed when I became a housewife.

Since I am a housewife now they all started advising me, they are criticizing me, my opinion does not matter even upfront they said You don’t know the world and I was like” Ahhh, How come Till yesterday I was fitting there and now I don’t know, with marriage vows did I cross worlds 😂

But that’s the mentality, girl your reading and saying it’s not happening in my house, Go and advice on finance, give your opinion on government. I am the person who can lead the house, office and my husband, my family knows that, they still have eyes towards me. This is they are even If you have one working woman and one Housewife in house you start treating them in a different way.

That treatment starts with women because men do not care, they are having food on time, their laundry is ready and they have a TV remote, then they simply don’t care, So this differentiation starts by women, towards a women.

Women value is not defined by whether she is working or not, she should not need to prove herself to her own family, if you love her, if you know her, then you know how much she is valuable.

If the house is smart, if everyone praises you at work, kids achieve in school, Things are systematic then it is because there is a lady who decided to put you all at first place and herself at last. That lady is capable of more than you think, give her slight knowledge she will do better than you. But she is expecting only love.

She is not the housewife she is the Backbone of your life, your house.

Dictionary !!!! Printed vs Electronics

I am here to share a simple thought, today my son asked me the exact meaning of the word Envy so I said lets try the dictionary, we got him one junior dictionary so in that we sat and started looking.

Dictionary the place where you can dig anything. In my school days I used to carry the Oxford big heavy one. Nowadays it’s on your phone with just one click and tada.

As you know how a printed dictionary works, need patience for that, and me and my son were trying to find the words basically I am showing him how to use it. And he ran away got my phone and used Siri and got his answers. He replied to me “amma why are you not using this”. I want to explain to him but then I realize yes it’s an easy way and he is a kid from the era where everything is on figure tips.

He will not understand the pleasure of the printed dictionary, the actual pleasure where you try to find your word alphabetically and roll your eyes for an exact match, meanwhile you encounter some new words and you say ohh that’s the new or I never knew. That exits you and the minute you find your word you just feel achieved and with that method that word and the meaning of that word is stuck on your brain. Now type the word and it’s in front of you but that pleasure is missing. I cannot share that pleasure because for him it’s boring, for my 6 years not sure after some years what else can bore him.

But kind of he is right yes it’s time saver, energy saver and at last you are assured that you will find your answers. This time we read books but pdf form. You know what I got when people see my books they say why you’re collecting those and wasting the space these all are online.

Again I cannot share my feelings when you turn the page, the smell of paper and put the mark while reading, sharper the pencil, Mark the favorite lines wow. Those are amazing.

Yes, the electronic world is different but still, I want my son to love books. It’s funny right I like printed ones but I like googling, here I am sharing myself on electronic media. I wish with electronic media the printed media will be there.

I Lost MySelf !

I lost myself.. It’s big. And it happens to everyone once in their life. It takes time to gather ourselves and then come back to the place to start life, but some parts are missed, and we always feel.

There are different reasons some have a relationship that breaks them into the deep, loss in business even nowadays failing the exam is also there, but you cannot say that this could not be the reason because if it matters to the person then it matters.

Recently I went through that or can say I got a chance to go to that sea, I was deep and very deep and felt dark that no matter how much I want to survive but every single time I feel going down. Yes, I talked about that and shared my feelings but it helps, not in my case, the moment I am alone I am again in the same place.

That place is all about self criticized, winning, and crying or it’s the ocean of tears, which is getting me down and down day by day. During the criticized things I feel how unimportant I am, yes I have everything but for them I have nothing, they do love me but with reason, if I am not fulfilling their expectations then they just ignore me or aside me.

Is this a Love, relationship? Then I realize people pray to God, in my culture we have billions of gods, and for each thing, there is a different one, so do they love God, No either they are scared or need, then only they pray to him. No one I ever recall says that just love God, without your wanting or something. No one says that God never got angry if you do something bad, God is the only person who accepts you the way you are, I don’t think it mattered to him that did I eat something mistakenly during my fasting days, but I think it does matters to him if I break the heart.

I am in a place where things matter and for me, feelings matter. And when I shared how I heart definitely with the hope that it resolves so they feel I am complaining. Which heart more. So with those things, I thought I lost myself. Who I am and is this me or the world?

It was terrible, I got nobody, I thought about help yes but in my place, doctors are coming from the same zone, they prescribe medicine but I want to be heard only that, listen to me and suggest how to overcome not how wrong I am and I should accept people around me, not at the first place. But did not happen.

At that time Mirror became my friend, strange. I did not notice but I feel someone is there inside who wanted me to go out from this deep dark ocean, don’t know how but started talking to the mirror, the more I talk the more I feel better.

With that mirror I realize what is wrong, the only wrong thing is I am putting the world first and myself second. No matter how much I love everyone but it must be me, as the priority. If I want to expect it, it must be from me.

What I am trying to do, I find myself. It was taking too much time. If the thing is lost and can’t restore, if tried then you will get the piece only

It was not me, who can say it happened. but instead of finding myself, I rebuilt myself, this time the way I want. It is easy. Yeah take time but I am happy that with this 2.0 version of me I fix all the bugs which were causing me issues.no idea of how this will work, for now, I am happy, still around with the same people, and the same situations but this 2.0 are good for me.

So instead of finding Rebuild yourself.

A little hope!

Right now I need hope only hope in my life. I give up on everything, whatever I try I did but nothing I get it.

I did my best in whatever place I was, I try to give my best. As in view give your best that does not matter where you are, if you are in office or kitchen or taking care of kids or doing something which you don’t like But if you are doing give your best. There should be no retreat if I put more effort outcome would be different No give your best and then accept the outcome.

But feels like it is not right at all. I gave my best, and accept the outcome even sometimes with the sacrifices still, I have blamed and that is the person who said he understands me more than anybody. How and why….. After that, I have nothing to say or do.

My kid does not understand anything, he is too innocent. So he came to me and ask what happen and why your not smiling so out of nowhere I just said to him I gave up baby. I feel bad but the words are out and it’s in his mind. Now I am feeling how I am going to erase this thing, I am a bad mother how can I teach my child this.

He ran away and I started thinking about what to do now. What’s done it’s done, you can not change anything but after 15 min he came back with the paper and pen and he said I write you something amma and showed me. I have no words only a big smile with tears. I just Thank God for giving me such a precious gift and hugging my son.

Today I want to share with you, look around your hope is with you, open your eyes you can see.

He is 5 so he makes the speeling don’t go missing e just feel the imotions😊

Scared ?

I am scared, very much scared with this corona. I am frustrated, tired. Don’t know what to do.

Everyone advised some says take precautions all will be good, so what are the precautions Don’t go out, use a mask, don’t have life.

Some say live your life, the corona is not that much impacted, when I ask, people, kids are dying and being a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister I am not ready to lose my loved one or don’t want to leave them alone.

Some say trust in God, yes I do but when I see hospitals, crying, my beliefs start falling. Yes God is among us what if God is trying to erase us and try to get new humans, trust me I have many more thoughts like that.

I took all precautions, then I have to go to the society, for the first birthday of your near one, the marriage of your close one, celebrate the special days which is important for your loved one but you are asking for a virtual celebration and nobody understands you, they forced you to join it and the best thing they say to convince you what if it is the last one. That dame excuse shattered you, you want to join but you don’t want to expose. Especially don’t want to expose your kid to that virus.

Your baby who becomes toddlers now they are missing their childhood in the home. Your 5-year-old kid knows about corona but does not know how to play with friends. For him, friends are like cocomelon. How painful it is. When you allow to play him with other kids and then he sneezes with normal cold and other kids’ parents stop their kids to play with him, it is not their fault but this is happening.

This is all thoughts and no solution and end of the day only one thing please God please make this corona thing disappear or give us a solution. I want to enjoy the happy moment with family, friends now no more virtual world. Want to go them, hug them, hold them.

I am waiting for the morning when no mask, no bad news, I can see the smile, kids playing together, parks are full, I know this time will pass, we are human, we know fighting, we will win. It’s good to talk, yes every one somehow scared, we are here for each other, I shared with you, if you want I am here, Maybe I have nothing to say but you feel relief after sharing like me. Thanks for listing me 🙂

Save Earth

Save Earth it’s a good concept which everybody needs to understand. We are the ones who are polluting the earth. At my time of schooling, they did not teach those concepts. My son is in kindergarten and they are teaching him this thing, I am happy, and when he makes this I feel proud.

He learns things like through the dirty in the trash, doesn’t through the dirty in rivers, uses public transport so we can make less air pollution, don’t loud, don’t horn the cars, these all things helps to make earth happy. Good things right. We teach kids and expect them to apply in life. Sometimes there are punishments if they don’t do as we are teaching.

So here is the problem we are teaching them all the good things to save the earth, but same time we are teaching them don’t apply in real life. For example, no loud, no vehicle horns during the traffic but is it possible. No, I did that and others too, when he ask not to do or why I making noise pollution so… I have nothing to say, what should I explain to him. For rituals purpose at my place we have to take bath in the river, we through things into the river again he is there why?

There are lots of things it’s only some of them, there are lots of why it’s good to teach them. But it will be perfect if whatever we are teaching first we apply in our life and then teach them. Because here we are giving them the wrong impression, whatever you learn not for life, Is this right? I try, yes very difficult but still, I decided to teach him with the actions.

Acceptance ?

Solution of the problem or Starting of the problem?

The first sentence covers all, when I think about, I feel, I am on two boats. there is something which I accept happily, and some are which I don’t want to accept, but I have too. That is the reason I came up with this thought

It happens to everyone, even it happened with you also, but there is a slite twist which I observe for myself, I want people to accept me the way I am, but when it comes to me, I accept them on my conditions, please don’t judge me, being a human I am what I am (see I told you 😛)

So the first point, the cause of the issues is, if they accept me, I am happy, and we are good, but when they don’t accept boom. On the other side of the coin, when I open my heart for someone, you must do the same thing, whether you want or not, but I did so you need to, otherwise boom. (See being a human 😜) . That is the personal thing, so most personal problems come into this criteria either its origin or its end, but simple Acceptance.

When it comes to society, there are lots of unwritten rules. When we accept them, we are in there. Otherwise, you are out. Sometimes the rules are solutions for people, but sometimes they are not. The rules are by the people for the people, like “Marriage in early age when they are kid”. Some people still follow it. If you don’t, they will force you or punishment.

The moral of the story, you have to accept.

Being a people or society, we accept those things which are unacceptable. Family violence, criminals, especially child abusers, Why we allow them. Everyone deserves a second chance, but if someone is not changing himself and threat to the people, then why are we Accepting?

We have lots of things around us, like an Autistic person/kid, physically challenged one, the people who are in some kind of trauma or witness of any crime, But we don’t want to accept them in our home. We ignored them, let them feel left alone. The worst we say bad words in front of them. You have no idea how it feels. Things happen, but that’s not their fault, but we name it like that. We accept the criminal but don’t want to the victim. Why do we have that kind of thinking? We are good, sensible people, but still, we are doing this kind of discrimination.

What we want to accept, is a personal choice. But please do accept the person who is in pain. The pain is not by choice. he gets it, can say by luck or someone did. But now he is with him, we can not take the pain, but when we accept him as he is, that gives him something good.

Acceptance comes from the heart, not from the mind. It’s the way I think. it may vary for everyone as per their surroundings. I love to hear you, What is your acceptance.